ShrappyLog #10 – 1/05/2013

Happy New Years, fellow fraggers! So are you happy or angry? C’mon, about the fact that the world didn’t end. I’m a mixture of both. More of the latter. If you’re completely happy that the world didn’t end, then I despise you .. only because I’m jealous of your state of mind.

Anyway, it’s a little passed midnight and I’m having trouble sleeping so I decided to talk via phalanges. I don’t care who’s listening.

I’ve been on a mission to lose weight ever since I returned from my Orange County vacation. What should I talk about first? My OC vacation or my weight losing endeavors .. let’s go with weight losing.

I started three days ago on Wednesday. I’ve been eating a lower overall amount of daily calories since then, even though it’s still pretty high up in the 2,000s. I wake up and eat a simple breakfast that consists of either a PB&J sammich or just eggs and toast. For lunch, I eat whatever my mom has made in the fridge, but I didn’t stuff myself this week to the point where I was just eating because the food was still there. I’m not too strict on the diet in terms of specifics, just as long as my calories are not saturated with a majority of carbs and fats. On Wednesday night, technically Thursday early morning, I had some withdrawals because I was starving after my workout. At around 2AM, I ate noodles. At f***ing 2AM.

It didn’t help at all in a physical aspect, but it let me transition realistically in a mental aspect. It kinda gave me one last reminder of what I’m trying to fix. I woke up the next morning and felt bloated despite my hard workout the night before. That’s what I felt when I was in Jabber’s car complaining about how my jeans didn’t fit, and how I felt like my belly hung over when I wore tighter-than-sweatpants.

On Thursday however, I kept my diet decent. I worked out at night with my sister and her boyfriend – 15 minutes on the treadmill and lifted weights. I’m still sore today, but it feels good. I feel heavy still, but I’m praying that it’s the muscle that I’ve been gaining. Just gimme a break, it’s only been 3 days.

I don’t know what my goal is yet. Maybe I’ll declare one right here, right now. I want to lose 10 lbs. by the end of January. I’m currently 204 lbs. now according to Jabber’s scale, so 194lbs. should be feasible by Jan 31st.

Oh, and a side note – my brother didn’t workout with me all week when he said he would. Do you know how demoralizing it is when the only other person you live with is unmotivated to do what he says he’ll do? I mean, I’ve never really had a problem with working out alone when others needed people, but it’s my brother. It would be a perk if he actually got up and broke a sweat with me. Mentally and physically. I donno, we’ll figure something out.

I was supposed to talk about my weight losing adventures and my O.C. vacation, but the latter will need its own post. Believe me.

Once again, Happy New Year everyone. All joking aside, do your best to be happy that the world didn’t end. You’ll thank me once you’ve tried .. because who the f*** wants to be angry all the time?

*BOOM* goes Shrappy~

1/05/2013

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ShrappyLog #9 – 12/27/2012

Hey guys, it’s been a while. You’re probably thinking I’ve really had nothing interesting to frag about.

Quite the contrary, I’ve had plenty of riveting events occur in my life in the past week or so. Before I forget, Merry Belated Christmas to you all.

On Christmas Eve, I celebrated Xmas on my mother’s side. It was a blast because we had the whole family attend, even my cousins from the East Coast. I live in California, so it was awesome for them to show up like they did. Secondly, we had a TON of alcohol there. Wine, liquor, beer .. you name it. We ended up getting pretty wasted by the end of the night.

I had made some observations during the event that I wanted to jot down. I remember thinking that everyone in the room was so happy except for me. You see, there’s a difference between being happy and having a good time to me. I’m truly happy when I’m around my cousins(Jabber & and homosexual) and I’m just having a good time when I’m around the rest of the family. I can’t connect with them. I don’t really know them. They know only of what I choose to show them, which is obviously a bunch of stories that continuously flatter my image. Any of you fraggers feel the same way around family?

I thought to myself .. it’s family. Family. The word itself has a sacred ring to it, but during my moments of depression, it’s just a symbol. A symbol that represents a narrowed down community in which we hold the privilege to rely on unconditionally. But if you take out all the mumbo jumbo, sometimes it’s just really an uncle that judges your whole damn character off of whether you have a degree from college or not. Or people that live over 3,000 miles away that you only talk to once a year. Or a successful attorney who would rather not see members of this sacred community fail, because it’s just not in him. But do they really know me? Maybe it’s unfair of me to ask such a childish question. How would it be possible for them to truly know me? They don’t hangout with me everyday, or participate consistently in the hobbies that I enjoy. It’s vice versa as well. I might not even know any of them, which I feel reinforces my point of family being too damn overrated sometimes.

There’s a piece of me inside that just wants to go free. The piece that is begging me to be grateful for even having a family. It’s the sensible way. I think I just need to .. go through things to build some perspective. I dunno, it’s just a phase I guess.

*BOOM* goes Shrappy~

12/27/2012

ShrappyLog #8 – 12/19/2012

It’s cold as ice and I decided to take my dog Keeper on a walk anyway. I think I’m starting to feel guilty about what I’ve been putting my poor body through.
Well, I do have good reason to feel bad about the mistreatment of my body. For starters, I ..

– Drank about a shit ton of alcohol with Jabber in the past five days.
– Ate about 3500 calories daily in the past five days.
– Slept around 4AM-5AMish in the past five days and woke up past 12PM.
– Killed a half of a handle last night with my friend Chris and didn’t sleep until 5AM.
– Didn’t workout at all in the past five days.

Wait a minute .. I DID workout with Jabber on the 3 hour hike that we did on Sunday! What the hell am I feeling guilty about anything for?

Well, that takes care of that. Never gonna feel guilty about what I do to my body again.

*BOOM* goes Shrappy~

12/19/2012