I’m At Work

Good morning, world. I had so much to type, but I’m gonna talk to you about this lady sitting at my coworkers desk having a nervous breakdown because she overdrew her account. (Insert laugh here). If you haven’t guessed it, yet, I work for a bank.

This is how it’s going:

*Lady walks in (more like waddles in) and asks to sit down*

Nervous Breakdown Lady (NBL) – Canyouhelpmeshouldigiveyoumyaccountnumbercanyouhelpme?

That was done all in one breath.

Co-worker – Yes, sure.

NBL – Okaygreatimfreakingoutrightnow. Imsicktomystomach.

Basically, this is what she’s saying. “I put myself into this heap of trouble, so I want you guys to fix my problems because I’m irresponsible”.

Unfortunately, we only reverse fees that are accrued if there was a bank error. And I know, I know. You’re thinking, “There are always bank errors! I never do ANYTHING wrong!” Wrong! And I’m being as unbiased as humanly possible in this situation. The majority of the time, it’s the customer’s fault. Not just in banking, but in any situation really. As customers, we demand a lot. We’re forking over our money to the corporate world, so we should have a say in everything. Even down to the way you comb your eyebrows.

I digress.

The lady left in a panic because my coworker was unable to reverse her fees. She cursed under her breath and rolled out in a storm. I inserted a pun in there because she was rather large, so the word “rolled” fit perfectly. Also, I like to ruin jokes and puns by giving you no chance to figure it out on your own. You’re welcome.

On to other news, I’m trying to leave my job. I was transferred to a new branch about two weeks ago and I absolutely despise this new place. I was at my old branch for almost 4 years, and even though I’m with the same company, moving to a new branch is like starting a new job with new people and new policy and guidelines. I mean, if I’m gonna do that, I’d rather work at an entirely new company, yaknow???

So I’m leaving. I’m leaving because I don’t care anymore. The money I make is of little concern to me because I value my happiness and intellectual creativity a lot more than talking about finances all day.

So many fucks not givin’ right now!

— Jabberkaboom!

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